Dear Alex,
I’m the type of person who likes to write things out instead of speaking them as I tend to stumble over my words when I speak, making me self-conscious. I hope you understand why I’ve chosen to communicate with you this way, for this particular message, instead of speaking with you in person or over the telephone.
I’ve talked with you at length before about my heart and where it’s at and what I want to be doing with my life right now, right? Well, I meant every word of it: I don’t want to be tied down, I don’t want to be in a relationship. But I protest too much, don’t I? The fact of the matter is, I really, really, REALLY love being in a relationship… I love how I feel knowing there’s always someone that’s there beside me, rooting me on and being there when I need to “ugly” cry; I also love being that person to someone else. I’m a true romantic, and I still believe in love… even after my most recent heartbreak, I know someone – SOMETHING – is out there for me to discover still. Could be you, could be ANYONE. He might still be in Denver, for all I know. That being said, I do not think at this juncture of time that I need that type of relationship.
More than anything right now, I need a friend. Yes, being lovers is good, too, so long as we both know that there are no titles to go along with that. All I can think about right now (and since this past Tuesday) is how bad I want to be in bed with you… looking into your eyes and losing control.
I like hanging with you and talking with you… when I didn’t talk to you for a few days last week, I felt sad and longed to hear your voice. I have feelings for you, for sure. To what extent? I don’t know yet. But… I’m intrigued. You’ve got me hooked, and now I want to fully explore who Alex is. I want you to know me better, too.
I guess what I really want to say is you have boosted my confidence a million times more than where it was several weeks ago. You have renewed my zest for life. You’ve made me laugh when I didn’t think laughing was possible.
No matter where we go from here, you can count on me to be dedicated and sincere…
xoxoxo,
Desiree
